i'M dOwn... very saD.... feeling depressed, lonely and all... i chose my own life, i deserved this... yet i'm feelin like tt now.. i'm confused.. dar, i can't always depend on u... i really wish i'll always... but i need to strike out my own... but i need u... sigh i'm such a useless bum... there's nothin bad happenin bet us... jus tt i feel so sianz, bored up in this hostel!!!! i want to go home yet i dun want to.... i'm so so indecisive!!!! i'm so so lethargic!!! i dun like advanced plans!!!! i dun wan t ve exams!!!! i hate presentations!!!! i dislike projects!!!! sigh... tt's life n tt's school... i'm sad... ;(
ya... today's e last day of recess...sigh... din really spend recess fruitfully... mon went driving then met dar to go shopping.... tue went driving again then went to my ah ma's house... sleep n overslept so din go for cls outing in e evening.. ha.. what kind of life is this man?? wed... went to meet dar for lunch then went back to hall... dad fetched... heex... was in hall loz... trying to do some work for IT project meeting on thur... saw everybody on msn... so almost everyone has been in hall since mon.. i've been missing out... heex... but they are back to study... can u believe it?? not my type... ha.. but i'm feelin left out n stressed out!!! ha... they're so kiasu!!! anyway met many ppl for dinner at can 13... ha.. like reunion.. got clsmate, ex colleague and og mates... ha... alright... then for thur went for project dicussion.. sigh... out of 5 ppl like only 2 were doing work... wth... anyways only did for a few hours cos some of them got some other meetings to attend... e rest of us talked crap until like 5 plus then i went back to my rm ro slp... din slp well e prev nite cos some stupid idiotic guys were watching soccer n shouting like nobody's biz... ya.. slept till 7 plus then met belle n gen for dinner at can 14... watched singapore idol after tt then went back to do WORK!!! ha a bit only la.. until 1 plus then went to bed le..friday went for cultural sub com outing at seoul garden at orchard... ha din cook... were sitting w 3 guys so... ya... conveniently.. heex... after tt went to buy my sandals @ lucky plaza!! then after tt went home.. yesterday was super sad.. nv go out@!!!! no mood to do work also... but met dar at 11plus to eat supper at jalan besar this dim sum place... v delicious.. heex.. and cheap... thanks dar!!! today.. hopefully can go shopping or watch movie?? shall ask dar later... Na if u read this... when are we watching our movie as promised?? sigh... think it'll b closed v soon... meet soon k?? k tt's abt it... wich me luck on my biz law assignm... i still can't do it.. sigh... gonna flunk... 20%!!!
heex... ya... it's ared tues.. going wed.. n i've yet to sit down & study... girl...u better know?? sigh... going back to hall tml... got to look thru simnet n master excel & access... BUT i dun even ve ms office on my pc in hall to prac my skills.. heex... will find my way... wellz... rather anti-social today... nv go for my 1st cls outing @ marche heeren... heex... n know y?? i decided to happily slp till 5 plus then couldn't get home b4 6... yup.. i was at my grandma's after driving in e morn... yupz.. sorry kel.. hoped tt u did enjoy urself thou our clique's not there... he so wanted me to go to talk crap w him cos no one frm our clique is going except him.. so sad.. heex.. he even offered to fetch me to n fro loz... ha... i'm jus too lazy i guess.. went to dar's place after dinner..bought bird's nest 4 dar's mummy.. so sweet right?? heex... got hole in my pocket le.. sigh... wanted to get nice sandals frm lucky plaza if i've gone for e outing... but too bad... n dar's not buying for me... another big hole... BROKE BROKE BROKE!!! but i really dun ve enough nice pretty sandals to walk ard w... yea baby.. i'm gonna get it.. but got to choose... they've really nice ones there but e prices r quite steep... sigh.. if only i'm super loaded...what did i do yesterday?? ermz...went for driving then met dar @ yck... go shopping @ orchard.. ultra sad also... sigh.. dun find anything to buy except this bracelet frm far east... i paid for it myself thou dar offered to pay!! heex... actually it's a replica of my old one but tt's spoiled plus it's like half e price loz.. c diff bet things bought @ heeren & far east?? went to e sponsored shop also.. but can't find a thing i like... sigh... welll plans for e rest of recess... tml.. stay in hall... sad case.. thur... IT project meeting but i doubt it'll take e entire day.. friday got sub comm outing... but i really dun feel like going.. east coast park...it's so not me... wkend... will see... sigh recess is coming to an end soon... sobx.......
yeah!!!heex.. i'm having my recess now since today's my last day of lesson!!! heex... but actually i can't really feel e holiday mood..let's see what am i gonna do this one whole week... ermz... continue w driving which i've like neglected for like one & a 1/2 mths... but i only managed to book tml, mon & tue's lessons... ya.. will wait n see... ve got biz law assignment... 20% of final grade... 1000 words... really got to read up on what i've been missing... realised sch's like a whirlwind...first e pageant stuff has made me lagging behind sch for a mth... then after tt all e completion of quizzes & tutorials take up all my available time... of cos not forgettin my weekends r taken up by dar... yup.. Ob too... my grp hasn't started on e dicussion yet.. ha.. we're really e slackers man.. other groups r like starting to do ared... ya... sad case... IT.. we had a super short dicussion over lunch after biz law tut... so we're meeting on thur to do it proper but b4 tt got to master all e softwares using simnet... wth... y must they assume tt we ared knew ms office like ABC??? realised tt many ppl like to make assumptions nowadays & assumptions often lead to big mistakes or even disastrous outcomes... ya... well.. luckily... Econs is not taxing... nothing much to do... Econs is like my fave sub now.. so contradicting loz.. used to dislike econs so much back in JC... ha... all e other modules r like so hard to really grasp e concepts... think it's just me... nv really utilise my brains... ha.. lazy slack me.. heex... ;) alright.. really got to buck up.. it's like only one more mth to final exams?? wt**** horrible.... oh ya.. dear frenz i jus changed my phone # but u can still contact me thru' e old # cos i applied for e no. portability thingy... yup.. meanin ur call or sms to my old no. will b re-routed to my new no... yup.. high tech huh?? wellwell.. k la.. think it's enough... ppl enjoy life to e fullest ya???? smilez!!! ;)
why are they killing innocent children when they'd ve done something more constructive?? what good do they get out of this??? those heartless, inhumane, out of minds creatures!!! didn't they realise tt they themselves were once kids?? those helpless, naive, carefree cuties.... they've got no intention, no motives... what is this?? i mean... this cruelty can't jus go on like tt... are these ppl brain washed or what?? seriously... i wonder what are they thinking abt... argh........ they're so so poor thing... 400 dead... 400 know... sigh.... treasure ur loved ones & be contented w our lives....
yea... know y?? i blogged yesterday but my whole entry disappeared cos i wanted to put in e emotion icons... what-the-f***?? ha.. anways... today's a super slack day... had biz law tut... prof said tt i'm too quiet... but.. jus nothing for me to speak abt in cls...i only talk crap.. ya... finished @ 12.30 then had lunch w my tut grp... ha... funny... pierre commented tt kel,JR,WJ & I always v anti-social, always in our clique n always leave right after tut cls... & know what... he said tt Kel & I talk like we're a couple.. pls loz... my taste aren't tt bad... n i've dar n Kel has his eyecandy.. ha... they're watching garfield now... 1st date... ha... kel jus smsed me... cross fingers for him ya?? ha... ya... realised tt i dun ve to announce tt i'm attached or 'red-light' as ppl like to call it.. ppl ared know tt i'm attached.. dunno who's spreading... ha... N i got one more sch to add to my list, till now got ppl say tt i looked like i was frm NJ , NYJ & today Pierre said tt i looked like i was frm RJ.. tt was so off... ya... HJ said something abt some VJ ppl then looked @ me to c if i know tt person... i was like huh?? i'm not frm VJ... ya... think i've got a multi-JC look... meeting Celine dear tml... loooooooooooooooong time nv c her le... she's giving me my bday treatment tml... ha... vv vvvvv belated man... ya... back to today... after lunch went to Angelia's rm... not too bad.. heard tt hall 13 ve got peeping tom incidents... so scary.. n hall 12's so near... ya... think no ppl dare to do nasty things here cos we've got v gd security here... ha... heard there was this pervert who got beaten real badly when he was caught by e senoirs... ha.. yup... after tt brought angelia & kel to my rm while kel happily made himself so comfy... he's absolute mr-buay-zhi-tong..then they left... angelia to project meeting & kel to meet his eyecandy.. yup.. then JAstinian came to help me w my pc.. got prob again.. can't read my email.. ya... but he can't do anythin constructive... since both of us ve got nothing to do, we went to his rm wanting to check out pretty girls on friendster... then i suggested doin laundry.. ha... went down then got stuck in JR's rm for like 2 hrs...sigh.... oh ya.. when we were doing laundry, Jastinian found money($2.25) in e washing machine n we bought drinks using tt $ ... heex... evil... finally left JR's rm at ard 5... i'm back in my rm but got to go for e stupid investiture soon... sigh... so sick now.. y bother joing sub com when i'm such a slacker??? sigh.... wrong choice ma... dunno if i still wanna join ad hoc... but overseas expedition sounds exciting... & what abt D & D & FOC??? sigh... sucks... hate making decisions fr myself.... when can i grow up ??
he's a sicko.... sicko.... psycho may be a better word... or perhaps maniac?? wellz... ya.. all men are jerks... the vocab used above goes especially well with guys!!! but women are silly creatures... why is there a need for those yucky thingys?? there's nothing great abt them except mayb some charm and some other useless traits... wtf........ hate it!!!!!!!!!i hate all men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yea... in case u were wondering if i'm still alive... ya i'm.. ha... ve been buz w hall camp, hall activities least of all Sch work... ya.. well this's going to b a short one.. think like what i read in many blogs recently, e blogging need is no longer ard.. ya.. is it me or what?? alright... anyhows.. jus came back frm dinner... it's only 1742 actually.. ya.. com crashed yesterday but cos of courtesy n kindness frm this wonderful senior QF, it's back to life!!!! heex... so happy!!!... well ya... anyways i've something makin me quite perplexed... y do some ppl choose to be so easy, lack of QC when he or she can actually get someone better w/o even trying hard... do u consider this as playboy/girls or is it plainly a way to avoid frm a painful experience... like self inflicted misery or something?? and i making sense or am i not... anyways... i'm done... update u ppl another time kz?? tk!! ;)
life is such an amazing thing... full of ups & downs ... filled w happiness, wonders, miracles as well as cruelties, unfairness & depressing issues... tah-da... i'm jus ranting meaningless stuff... well well.. i've gotten hall 12!!! yea... u know for my hostel stay on campus?? yupyup.. anywayz think i've got to move soon or someone may join me soon tt's only true if my assumption's exactly right i.e. na & ! are allocated to e same hall,i dunno if it's e same rm but.. anywayz she'd withdrawn so likely tt i'm left alone in a rm.. BUT e hall's rules & regulations states tt the e hall reserves e rights to ask to move to another place ( most likely to join another hopeless case like me) or another person may join me) i guess by now if all ppl end up w their rmmates all settled tt means supposedly if someone's joining me then she'll b an international student... yup.. tt's my side of story.. anyways.. think it'll b better if i'm left alone.. as if it's my own rm but may b quite scary still i'll feel more comfortable then sharing w a stranger i think.. yup...unless.. e stranger is a super nice person! :D pray hard*** wellz... i'm happy!! went shopping w dar on Sat!! really enjoyed myself!! love going shopping w dar.. perhaps cos i seldom does retail therapy w dar tt's y.. yup.. saw peeps frm leo club.. yanfang, yeeling, jaslyn & more.. ya.. n bought 2 tops!!! thanks dar!!! one frm mambo, one frm zara!! wanted to buy shoes for school 2 but can't find any tt i really like... ya.. heex.. :)
i'm feelin kinda down these few days.. or ve it ared lasted for weeks?? it's not pms... i dunno... i jus don't know what's my prob.. where's my cheeriness?? where's my lame-ness & crappiness... i know tt all these are idle & meaninless stuff but they make my life more lively & make me feel like a feather.. it seems like i'm weighed down by a rather heavy weight right now.. seriously... i dun think tt i'm going thru any difficult patch of my life tt may b e reason causing my depression.. it's nothing... i totally wasted my drivin lesson today.. e first lesson was alright.. e 2nd sucked big time... big big big time... i jus dun like e instructor.. jus dun like him!!!!! argh.... i'm jus gonna cancel one of my driving lessons tml.. i jus dun like going for driving lesson.. it's not fun.. mayb sometimes it's. but still.. i'm tired... sometimes i'm thinkin perhaps i shouldn't force myself to do something tt i dun like or i jus dun feel like doin.. perhaps tt's y i'm unhappy... i dun like driving lessons but i jus can't stop half way... i'm obliged to finish everythin.. i jus wan to get my license at e end.. but how long must i endure?? life sucks.. i hate myself.. i'm losin my self-esteem.. tt's v v bad... i'm sliding... i'm upset with my every aspect of life... dar's e only light in my life...but it doesn't always stays bright.. sometimes it flickers, but still e light is always there to guide me along.. but it's jus this uesless, hopeless me who always spoils everything.. cont'd later... disruption..
heex... congrats to ling!!!!she passed her driving ared...it seems so easy to pass huh??all my frens seem to pass e 1st time.. yea.. dunno when will it b my turn.. sigh.. anways.. went for driving this aftern.. not too bad but i think tt i'm still quite slow.. still jam brake & when it comes to checking blind spot i'm a goner.. ha.. ya.. i'll lose control of steerin or as many would say, "happily forget".. heex... yup.. n coincidentally, my instructor for today turns out to be my uncle's childhood fren.. ya.. what a small world huh?? yea.. tml got driving again... hope tt i can progress faster, stupid me... :D
You're a Caramel!! You are known for your sweetness. You are comfortable with yourself, and help others feel the same way about themselves. You are generally friendly to everyone, and believe in second chances.
-Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally charged. You definitely love the person you're with, and always want to know how they're feeling so you can make sure they're happy.
heexx............. morning morningx.... i've made up my mind...i think... heex... i'm not going for e nbs foc... dun wanna risk myself being roasted b4 sch so soon & also dun wanna waste my efforts to reschedule my driving lessons again.. think should finish learnin b4 i go u..so many things r coming out to delay my driving... argh... thou' i'm really v scared of driving but i shall not give up!!! i must persevere... like what many said to me.. if u r scared u won't b able to learn properly... ya.. so.. ya.. gtg.. i've got a July planner done up to plan my limited days b4 uni.. yup.. anywayz.. bday's coming!!30th July!!!cheers to being grand 19 o'age!!!!!!sigh... what's there to b excited abt eh?? ;(
orientation or driving?? what ling said is true... if i cancel one whole week's worth of lessons i'll ve to go for driving even after sch starts... what dar said makes sense also.. i won't want to drive everyday...it's too boring..in addition, i've got to know more ppl thru e camp so tt i can make new frens... sigh... so which should i choose??
sigh... i'm not happy... ha... over my driving lesson.. i'm getting so retarded.. argh!!! help!!! ha.. dunno when to brake n all... always brake very much in advance if not v jerky... sigh... think tt i'm really bad... i'm so scared whenever e other cars come near me although my instructor said not to worry abt them but only conc on yourself... sigh.... horrible lei.. also kept going out of my own lane.. cannot gauge properly.. it's either too near e kerb or too near e center line... sometimes i can turn smoothly sometimes can't... n know what>?? if i get e same instructor tml, he's going to bring me out on e road to use 3rd gear... scary scary....... x trillion timessss.................. how am i going to master?? wish me good luck... :cry: :? :(
heex.... well well... ermz.... ok... hi everybody!!! ok i'm mad today... yup.. went for my driving lesson in e morn.. heexx... quite fun.. but i think tt i'll ve to take a very long time b4 i can master how to drive safely.. quoted frm Dar, 'i'm a road hazard myself' ... ha... after tt met my uncle to get him to sign on my CPF form... for my sch fees... v troublesome.. still need guarantor.. think tt i'll cheat my parents' $$$$... ha... then tok bus back to tampines to meet dar for lunch... ya.. dunno y.. all of a sudden on e bus i was thinkin to myself, y not find a part time job?? can earn extra $$ instead of being idle n having nowhere else to go after meeting dar, tuition or driving lesson.. ya.. jus happened to pass by a shop lookin for part time sales asst.. yup.. went in to apply loz.. waitin for news... anywayz i was jus trying out my luck... or mayb i should call kbox again?? ha.. recall:: they called me quite a no. of times to ask me to go back for 2nd interview but i rejected them cos i was emplyed then... ya.. but anywayz there's no nearby kbox ard my place so tt'll b wastin transport $$$... transport is like taking up a huge proportion of my expenditure loz.. so ex to b using adult's fare... sigh... ya.. i'm again slacking @ home right now.... was thinkin of playing SIMS after this cos i fel quite guilty tt dar bought the game for me but i like play only 2-3 times only.. opps...sorry!!! :lol: kz.. tt's for today's update... ciaozzzzzzzzzz
heexx.....ya... tml's dar's big day!!!! birthday i mean... yup... dun reallly ve anything planned... but i've got him a present which i hope tt he'll love!!yup..but i've got some bad news thou'.... not concernin' dar but reg my hostel stay @ NTU.. ya.. na i dun blame u for ur mum's decision.. but ya.. now i'm left w no rm mate n i dunno who's going to be my rm mate.. hopefully i'll get a rm all to myself?? ha.. fat hope... dunno la.. will c how it goes... my driving prac lesson will start next week.. ya... hope everything turns out fine n tt i'll pass my FTT n get my drivin license soon?? yupyup... has been really forgetful nowadays.. rusting of e brain is taking place at a rapid rate..wth!@@! yeah... it's wkend.. dar's bdae then fathers' day then monday... sigh... nvm it's still holiday for me.. but w no one's company... sigh.. it's ending soon... oh no.... sch's starting soon...... sometimes i anticipate sch start sometimes i dreaded it.... weird??? mixed feelings ah.... shall take one step @ a time?? oh ya.. met up w yan & ling yesterday.. had lots of fun.. n guess what?? bet on euro yest.. ha only 5 bucks but won!!! heex... not v much but enough to pay for 1 Zara top.. i bought 2 yesterday!! heex..... winkwink***
ya jus woke up frm my NAP... ha... yawnz... had a nightmare... was in an accident... but not v serious... weird dream?? well... dunno la.. these dreams r so unpredictable & undecipher-able, if there's such a word... heex... oh ya.. went to take passport size pic today for NTU admin.. ya.. not very bad looking but still... ha... did i complain abt them?? NTU sent me this package of handbk n forms n expect us to read them all thru... make me blur only loz... yup.. but somehow got e giz of it ared... yup... dunno la... life's like so aimless right now... think i should really sit down n think abt what i want to do during this period.. can't keep letting time pass away like tt... my practical lesson starts next week.. ya.. really hope tt i'll pass my ftt.. cos i had ared made 2 mistakes i think... sigh...n na, if u read this, can u pls show me some signs of your existence... it's either you're still mad at me, or u r tt busy to pick up my call or reply to my sms?? i'm sorry...